xanphibian / My Amnesia!Xander fic.

So... need a little feedback, here. And I don't mean, "Dude, that rox!" I mean... help me out here. Give me your honest opinion. How's the description? Does anything jar you? There's not much here to worry about in the way of characterization, but if any thing sticks out at you, let me know. Does it grab you? If not, any idea why? My main concern is... is it boring? I know my writing is pretty much technically sound, but... does it flow? I know it's not prose or anything...

*kicks self*

Shut the fuck up, Green, and let them read it!

Okay...

***

Sounds of beeping and electronic humming and the low murmur of familiar voices.

Bright white tiled ceiling.

Cold, heavy sheets.

Uncomfortable bed.

The smell of ammonia and citrus scented cleaner.

He was in a hospital. In a hospital bed, obviously a patient. This seemed familiar.

He struggled to sit up, and found it easier than he would have at first thought.

"Xander!" Willow said, rushing over to his side. "You're awake! Oh, thank god. The doctor said there wasn't any reason for you not to wake up, but he couldn't tell us when you would, or if you'd be okay right away, or ..." she continued to babble on.

His head was throbbing. He brought his hand up and encountered thick gauze. Exploring with his fingers, he followed the bandage around his head to a padded place on the right side of his skull. As he experimentally pressed down, the dull throb blossomed into a full fledged pain, and he called out.

"Oh!" Willow said sympathetically. "Don't do that. It's... it was pretty bad."

So it was a head injury. Common enough, and definitely not anything new. He wondered what exactly had happened, and realized he couldn't remember. Probably another demon.

"Hello?" a voice called from the doorway. The voice was Buffy's but Xander couldn't see well enough to make out her form. "I left as soon as you called, Wills. The traffic, and the... He's awake? How are you doing?" she asked him. She sounded worried and tense. "How's he doing, Willow?"

"He just woke up... I was about to call his nurse. He's been out since they found him."

Who found me? You weren't with me? Was I patrolling alone? I wouldn't do that. Maybe I was ambushed... a parking lot, maybe? Maybe it was something more human, like a mugging or something. Had Anya been with him? Oh, God, Anya. Is Anya all right?

Xander's head fell back to the pillow as he suddenly became weak.

"Where's Spike?" Buffy was asking.

Spike. Was Spike there when it happened? He probably sat back and watched me get pounded by some monster, then took off. He probably left me there, thinking I was dead. Or maybe he finally found a way to do it himself... Shit! Maybe he got the chip out and came after me! What if he's after Buffy and Willow now, too?

"The police said the other victim was sent off with the coroner. I'm guessing he's unconscious in the morgue. He'll be here as soon as he can, I'm sure," Willow said. She turned to Xander and smiled lovingly. "I'm sure he'll be here right away. Don't worry, you know Spike. He'll be here in no time to fluff your pillows for you and growl at the nurses."

Uh... what? His question went unasked, however, as his eyes closed and the healing darkness once again claimed him.

***

The first thing he was aware of was a soothing coolness against his cheek. He tried to turn his head further into it, but the feeling left. He frowned, unable to open his eyes or voice his protest, but another cool touch to his hand placated him.

Eventually, the sound of familiar voices brought him back to reality.

"... no broken bones, just some bruises, some cuts from the glass on his face and arms... mostly just a bump on the head..."

Willow.

"...took me four hours to get here, the interstate was clogged with all the holiday traffic..."

Buffy. Buffy? Buffy driving?

"...sodding timed locks on the drawers in the morgue now. Guess they had too many corpses come to life and eat the coroners..."

Who... Spike?

"Do you need any blood?" Willow asked.

"Nah, nicked some from the morgue."

"Eww," Buffy said, succinct.

"Gotta heal, don't I?"

"For Xander... yeah," Willow said.

And now the theme from The Twilight Zone is playing in my head.

Xander's eyelids lost the weights that had been holding them closed, and his eyes drifted open. "Guys?" he said... or rather, croaked. His mouth and throat seemed to be entirely devoid of saliva.

He tried to focus on Willow's face, but everything around him was hazy and whirling. His tongue was thick and dry, and he wanted to ask for a drink.

Then there was something cold and wet on his lips... ice. Some marvelous person was feeding him an ice chip. He wanted to thank them, but he was too busy trying to drink the water dripping into his mouth. He managed to open his lips enough to get the ice on his tongue, where it promptly melted. He swallowed the water greedily. "More," he rasped.

There was more ice, and after a minute he felt he could speak again. "Thank you," he said.

"Anything, luv," came the answer, and then a tender kiss on his cheek.

That's nice.

He turned his head and focused on the person beside him. Spike sat beside him, looking at him with an expression that Spike just wasn't supposed to have. Ever.

Yep. Twilight Zone time. I must still be asleep. Either that, or the hospital has been giving me acid instead of pain medication. Good thing I'm going back to sleep now.

***

The next time Xander woke up, he felt more or less like himself. He had a throbbing headache, a sore throat, and a pain in his back from the hospital bed; but when he opened his eyes, the room stayed in one place. He could make everything out clearly, and when Willow came over to him, she didn't have any blurred edges.

"Hey Wills," he said with little trouble. "Can... water?"

She smiled and poured some water into a pink plastic cup from a matching pitcher.

The liquid was the best drink he had ever had. He quickly downed the water and handed it back to her in a request for more.

After drinking three cups full, his throat felt considerably better. Cautiously, he tried sitting up, and was pleased to find that he could do it without pain and without the world tilting upside down.

"Woah, there, Mister. You had a pretty bad accident, and I don't know if you should be..."

"Willow, I'm okay. My head hurts a little, but really, I feel fine. Hey.. did you get hair extensions or something? It's longer."

Willow frowned and touched her hair.

"I like it, though. I mean, it's different, but I'll get used to it. Hey, um... you think you could help me get up here? I'm not hurt... but maybe a little stiff from laying here. I need to ... um... the bathroom?"

"Do you really think you're up to walking?" she asked, worried.

"Yeah.. fine. Plus, I've really got to go. I think I'd crawl if I had to," he said with a grin.

"I could always hit the call button and ask for a bedpan," Willow teased.

"I don't think that'll be necessary."

He sat up, holding on to the hard metal bed rail, and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He slowly stood, making sure not to do it too fast. He remembered that his head was hurt, so he tried to move slow enough so he wouldn't get dizzy. He faltered a bit when he first stood, but that was more his cramped legs' fault than any real injury.

"Hey! What're you doin'?" Spike called from the door. He was quickly in front of him. "Xander, you get back in bed 'til a doc can tell you that you can move around. You shouldn't be..." he trailed off when he saw Xander's incredulous look.

"Since when the hell do you tell me what to do, asshole?" Xander asked. "I've gotta take a piss, and I'm not gonna sit in bed and let some sadistic nurse make me use a little portable urinal."

A look of hurt seemed to pass over Spike's face, but he quickly covered it with a blank mask. "Right, then. You want me to help you into the loo?"

Xander's mouth opened and worked as if he were trying to say something but couldn't. Finally, he said, "Do I want you... to help me? Am I the only one with the head injury here? What the fuck are you doing here?"

Spike's jaw clenched. "Fine," he gritted out. "You want me to sod off? I will. I'm going home. Just..." He sighed. "Let Willow help you, all right?"

Xander just stood beside the bed and stared at him with a mix of disgust and bewilderment. After a few seconds, Spike turned and left the room.

"What the hell was that?" Xander asked no one in particular.

"Xander..." Willow began, but stopped. "Let's get you in that bathroom."

After a few steps, he found that he could walk on his own quite easily. Even carting the wheeled IV pole with him, he made it to his destination and back without any complication. When he returned, he sat on the bed.

"So... what happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"Nope. What happened? Was it a demon? Something all 'grr!' and fangs and requiring some slaying?"

"Well, yeah, except for the slaying part..." Willow said, grinning.

Xander didn't get the joke. "What?"

Willow rolled her eyes. "It was Spike. Or rather, Spike, your car, and a tree."

"Spike put me in the hospital? And.. my car... tree? You mean Uncle Rory's car?"

Willow looked at him strangely. "No, the Blazer. Spike was driving and... he said you two were arguing. I don't know what happened, but somehow you guys crashed into a tree. It was a pretty bad accident, you could have died. Spike... well, when the ambulance came, they thought he was dead. I mean, human-dead. And they brought you here. The doctor said you were really lucky, no broken bones or internal bleeding or anything. They were worried about your head, about you waking up, but you woke up within the first twenty-four hours, so... that's a good thing."

Xander blinked. "The Blazer?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I know you love it, but... is that why you're so mad at Spike? Or is it... the other thing you were arguing about, before the crash?"

"Mad at Spike? Shouldn't I be? I think mad at Spike is a normal reaction to.. his general Spikeness."

"Come on. You should call him, let him come back. He was so upset... so worried."

"Call him? On the phone? Since when does he have a phone in his crypt? And why would he be worried? And why the hell would I care if he's upset? And... Willow, what..."

She placed her hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes. "Xander... um.. what's the last thing you remember?"

"I'm... not really sure," he said after a moment.

"Okay..." she said slowly. "How about... what did you do yesterday? Do you.. remember what you did yesterday?"

His face was intent for a minute, and then he smiled.

"We went to the beach."

"Umm... we?"

"Buffy and Riley, you and Tara, and Anya and me. We had to leave early, 'cause it started to rain."

Willow's eyes widened. "Tara... and Anya?"

"Yeah. And we drove home, me and you and Tara and Anya. Buffy and Riley took his truck. See, I remember! We played the license plate game. Well, not Anya, she fell asleep. But you and me and Tara. Oh! I beat you guys! First time, ever," he said proudly.

"You... this is what you remember happened yesterday?"

"Well... yeah. That and Anya and me... when we got back to my place..."

"Your place... with Anya?" Willow asked carefully.

"Heh... I wish. No, the basement."

"The basement," Willow repeated. "And... what do you remember about Spike?"

Xander snorted. "Hadn't seen him all summer. Last time was the big showdown with Frankenstein's monster."

"Adam,"Willow squeaked. "The last thing you remember about Spike is... him setting Buffy up to die?"

"Yeah... damn, you say it like that, now I wish I had staked him while he was here," he said, pondering.

"Oh. Shit."

"Willow!"

She looked at him in horror. "I'm ... going to get your nurse to call the doctor. Or maybe he's here. Oh... oh, this is not good."

"Willow, you're scaring me. What's wrong? What's going on?"

"You... what you remember," she began, pacing within the small room. "What you don't remember. Oh, this is not good. I have to call Spike. Oh, no! Oh... let me get your nurse."

He stood and grabbed her arm to stop her. "Willow! What the hell are you talking about?"

She turned and faced him, and her eyes showed her fear and worry. "That day... at the beach, Xander," she said slowly, "that was over two years ago."

This may not be the best time to be posting it, this being Buffy day and all, but I'm working on it while I wait for my download to finish. Did I mention that the first 2 files I downloaded off of KaZaA were fakes? And buffy.nu cuts off after 3 hours of download, and the zip file is incomplete when it happens. *pulls out hair*

Oh, and then there's all this hullabaloo over Spuffy writers writing Spander. Heh... good thing I'm not all famous and shit (she says, sour grapes totally out of reach) so I don't have to deal with that. *snicker*

ETA: Fixed the italics. Or rather, the lack of italics. Or at least I think I got them. That's the suck ass thing about copy/paste.

anxious

Flat / Top-Level Comments Only

- Posted by

othercat.livejournal.com

Dude, that rox! (hee)

This is a great start here. The amnesia theme is actually a common one with this pairing (but you probably know that)but this is the first time I've seen it being used in the *middle* of the relationship, rather than being the thing that *starts* the relationship. This is a good Xander characterization, Spike sounds like Spike, Willow sounds like Willow, great, natural dialog, the narrative flows well, and holds interest, the ending scene was a good cut off point, and has the much desired effect of making the reader (yours truly) want to see what happens next.

- Posted by

My Amnesia!Xander fic.

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