xanphibian

So... need a little feedback, here. And I don't mean, "Dude, that rox!" I mean... help me out here. Give me your honest opinion. How's the description? Does anything jar you? There's not much here to worry about in the way of characterization, but if any thing sticks out at you, let me know. Does it grab you? If not, any idea why? My main concern is... is it boring? I know my writing is pretty much technically sound, but... does it flow? I know it's not prose or anything...

*kicks self*

Shut the fuck up, Green, and let them read it!

Okay... ( Here be the snippet )

This may not be the best time to be posting it, this being Buffy day and all, but I'm working on it while I wait for my download to finish. Did I mention that the first 2 files I downloaded off of KaZaA were fakes? And buffy.nu cuts off after 3 hours of download, and the zip file is incomplete when it happens. *pulls out hair*

Oh, and then there's all this hullabaloo over Spuffy writers writing Spander. Heh... good thing I'm not all famous and shit (she says, sour grapes totally out of reach) so I don't have to deal with that. *snicker*

ETA: Fixed the italics. Or rather, the lack of italics. Or at least I think I got them. That's the suck ass thing about copy/paste.